Zach&Himself

All My Heart

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:59:38 -0500

There are so many things I can say, but I’m sure it would come out all wrong.

watermel0n-smile: he just accepts it, not even surprised by it....

Tue, 21 May 2013 08:27:14 -0500

watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:10:48 -0500

Forever.

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:02:56 -0500

May 15th, 2013

So there’s this word that is known as forever. It’s a word that can mean something good, or maybe even something bad. Today, It’s a very good thing in my life. Forever is something that is limitless in time, and well I want something forever, something that I can keep with me. I’ve wanted to keep many things in my life forever, everything from family members, friends, and pets, but not everything is perfect.

Well in my case, I found something that I want to keep forever, that is perfect in my eyes. She knows who she is, and I’m so happy to be able to call her my girlfriend. She’s everything to me, she’s my friend, my best friend, and my love. For the longest time, I’ve always been afraid to let her know something, and I feel like it’s the perfect time for her to know.

I know that forever is a long time, but I wouldn’t mind spending it with you. I know we’ve only been together for nine months, but these past nine months give me hope that I can have a future with you. I want you to know that I care about you beyond belief. I hope one day I’ll be able to tell you in person that I want to be with you forever, and I do believe that one day will come soon enough.

I love you, and always will.

Love Pt. II (The New National Anthem)

Thu, 09 May 2013 23:53:00 -0500

May 7th, 2013

So I’ve meant to post this for the past couple days, but never got to it. I was originally going to post something, but the past night has added more to what I was going to write about. Love is a powerful thing; some don’t believe in it, some say it’s just a word, just something to keep a couple together, or that it’s something more beautiful than all of that. It’s an emotion that can be many things; it can be the start of a relationship, the middle of one or even a happy married couple spending the rest of their lives together.

The reason I’m writing this is because I’ve had this strange feeling down deep inside. My girlfriend obviously knows that I love her, but there’s something else that’s beyond my grasp. I love her more than I have ever loved her, but I’ve always had this strange question in my head. The other night, I figured out the answer to that question, and it means the world to me knowing the truth.

I know that everyone has a past, a past that involves the first kiss, the first “I love you”, the first time in bed, the first time believing that you’re with your “forever.” There’s a first time for everything, including being hurt and left in the dark. I’m going to be 100% honest, I’ve been hurt before, but not as drastic as the person I’m with. I’ve never been in love before so I can’t say I’ve had the experience of losing a love, but I can imagine the pain that she may have felt.

I have this feeling that there are memories that cannot be forgotten. Memories are something that will follow you for the rest of your life. I believe that memories are just memories, sure they bring back smiles, but then again they bring back pain.

I want to be the one who takes those old memories away, and replaces them with new ones. I want you to be so so so happy, but I can’t do that if you keep thinking about the past, or him. I know I can’t do anything about your past and your memories, but all I can hope for is that I can help you forget the old painful past, and rewrite it with a happy one.

I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, I’ll always care about you, I’ll always be here to talk to, I’ll always be here to love you, I’ll always be here for everything and anything. I promise now, and for the rest of time, that I will never hurt you. I just want to be the one you always remember. I honestly love you so much, I hope you know that, and I know this is coming off as a bit of jealousy, but I just want you to know that you absolutely mean the world to me, and always will.

I love you.

Why me?

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:11:40 -0500

So I’m sitting here just wondering, out of all the people in the world, why did you choose me? I’m nothing special, but you absolutely mean the world to me. I’m just wondering why you’d choose to stay with someone who’s just a loser, and not go find somebody else who’s much better than me. You’re the best thing to happen to me.

Who I am hates who I've been.

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 14:08:00 -0600

So I’ve come to the realization of something this morning, I hate who I’ve been and as crushing as I found it, it’s true. I’ve been through a couple moments in the past few months that I’m not very proud of. I’ve hurt people and made them show negative feelings toward me. I’m not a very big fan of this, as most of the people I know aren’t either.

The reason this has been running through my head is because I’ve been extremely rude, mean, and an asshole at best to someone that absolutely means the world to me. You may be thinking: “Your mother? Your father? Your family? Your friends?” and to be honest these people do mean a lot to me, but this isn’t about them.

I’ve recently been a total jerk to my girlfriend and I don’t even know why. Some alter-ego has been getting to me and I absolutely hate it. The reason this is such a big to me is because this girl means so much to me, and to be honest, I’ve never had a relationship with such a person who cared about me. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were to lose someone like her, so every time I say something stupid, I instantly regret it, and instantly think of the worse situations. This is why I hate who I’ve been recently and it sucks.

Yeah I’ve had previous relationships, but nothing to this extent. Sure, flings are always around, but this girl is one of the first for which I have these amazing feelings for, and I know she knows that I truly care for her. I would do whatever I can to make her happy to be with me. She’s someone I can always run to if I ever need anything, but I don’t want this alter-ego of mine to interfere and have her think of me as the worst thing to live on this planet. I honestly try so hard to make her the happiest girl in the world, I don’t know if she notices, but I really try my best.

It’s just who I am hates who I’ve been, and I really hope this can change soon. I want to be that boy that she actually loves, and just doesn’t say it to please me. I just realized I said honestly quite a few times, but then again, this is what this whole thing is about. I really hope for the best, I’m tired of being that guy who fucks everything up.

I Could Drown The World with Tears.

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 23:38:00 -0600

I really don’t understand it, but for some reason, I go through this very strange emotional thing. As a guy, this is something I shouldn’t be worrying about, but it happens. I look at things in a different perspective, I have a very optimistic look on everything, but at the same time, I worry about the worst possible outcomes. I guess that’s just the realist in me.

Well a few days ago, I was with my girlfriend, we’ve been dating for a while now and I haven’t seen her for while. Of course this was a big deal for me, because I haven’t seen her in forever and well seeing someone you’ve missed for a prolonged time has an affect on you. So when I got there, we did what you usually did, watched a movie and cuddled.

On this day though, I had something I wanted to say to her, so I manned up and confessed my feelings to her. I told her that I loved her, and this wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. To actually say words like that and mean it. This was the first time I’ve ever “loved” somebody and it took a lot out of me to say the words. After the words had left my mouth, we had a long kiss, but for some reason, I started to tear up.

This obviously caused mischief, and my girlfriend asked, “What’s wrong?” and I kept on saying nothing, as I couldn’t explain why it was happening. Now that I look back, I realize why. I just felt so built up inside that I had all these feelings for this amazing girl, and to top it off with an “I love you” and a kiss just made me feel absolutely amazing.

I really don’t understand why it happens, it just does. I’m not happy that it does, but it really does go to show that I care when it does. My body has some weird issue with itself that whenever I feel like I messed something up or have built up emotions; I just tear up a little. I know it’s not the manliest thing in the world, but it happens for a reason.

It happens, and it’s something I’ll learn to deal with, but hopefully I can fight off these random moments of tears, and man up. I can only hope for the best.

bloodandgory: life

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 14:03:26 -0600

bloodandgory:

life

Photo

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 00:16:00 -0600

Photo

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:47:17 -0600

Photo

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:28:06 -0600

I love you sweetheart you’re my world.

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 19:20:05 -0600

I love you sweetheart you’re my world.

Bulletproof Love.

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:00:06 -0600

Affectionate. Passionate. Enchanted. Love.

Words are thrown around every day, to simply communicate with one another. Letters are connected together to create words and words are strung with one another to create a sentence. Language is a very important factor in our every day life, but there are those words and phrases that take a lot out of to say. Sayings that aren’t as easy as saying “hello” or “how was your day?” Then there are those are other phrases that take a lot more gut to get out.

I have my own analogy for what love is, as everyone else has their own. In my analogy, it is more trust based than anything else. When two people decide to become a couple, they’re obviously attracted to each other. Later on in the relationship there usually comes that moment where the two really feel a strong sensational connection between each other. A lot of people have this instinctual feeling that they’re in love, and well the truth is, they may actually be.

Now onto my analogy on what I believe. The way I think of it is that everyone in the world has his or her own gun, a simple pistol. When somebody says, “I love you” to another person, they are basically handing you the gun they had because they trust you with it. When the other person says it back, they are also handing the gun to their supposed lover. So now that both people have each other’s guns, they can either just hold on to the guns or they fire it. Obviously both trust each other so they’re both hoping the trigger doesn’t get pulled. At times though, the gun fires off because someone simply does something wrong. It can be something as small as a lie to going off and having an affair. After something like that you’re basically shooting your lover and it really hurts them, along with yourself because it hurts to see someone you “love” being hurt. This is why love is a very big trust factor to me. Obviously there are many other factors including the emotional and physical.

So I really don’t have a way to end this, I just wanted to get my idea about what I believe what love is, so that’s it.

Photo

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 01:55:00 -0600

"You are my world adorable you mean so much. <3."

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 20:45:06 -0600

“You are my world adorable you mean so much. <3.”

Photo

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:23:31 -0600

ADVCE was a project I started 2008 on Myspace when it was all...

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 02:13:00 -0600

ADVCE was a project I started 2008 on Myspace when it was all the rage. ADVCE was basically a place where people would message/comment on problems they had in their life and I would try my best to help them out. A majority of people were satisfied and it made me happy that I was helping others out with their issues. I’ve become so busy and then Myspace ended up dying along with ADVCE. I’d love to bring ADVCE back so if anyone would like to share and spread the word, it would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

xkelleighx: omg, this is perfect.

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 23:33:52 -0600

xkelleighx:

omg, this is perfect.

Break the Cycle.

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 01:15:08 -0600

So recently my dog passed away and that brings an immense amount of pain to me. He may have been a dog, but he was somebody that I could always run to for comfort. Tonight, I was doing my normal routine before going to bed and as part of that routine, I walk my dog. I did what I did every night, called his name, whistled and asked if he wanted to go for a walk. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized that I couldn’t walk him anymore. It all started coming to me that he’s actually gone and that I wont be able to take him on anymore walks. I won’t have a sleeping buddy, I won’t have somebody happy to see me come home at night and I won’t have him. All I hope for is that he’s somewhere happy and not here sick. Well I guess it’s time for me to break the cycle and move on. RIP Bruno.